“In the elementary
school exactly when I was in the fifth and sixth grade, I got super depressed
because of some aggression directed at me”
Starting school as the new students
in X elementary school was so different than the school that I had started at
in the past. The kids were so rude, picky in choosing friends and likely
gossiped others. Even once when I begged to join as the member of girl group in
my class, nobody responded me. All members in the group were whispering and
looked strange to me. The way I talk, the way I dress, all of them were
criticized. Of course I was disappointed at that time, but I just started to
think it was me that was different, not the kids.
The time went on and still there was
no improvement toward my condition. As those kids who never wanted me to come
inside for anything, I found myself to keep sitting alone in the corner and
become reclusive for more during the learning. Once my teacher asked “what’s
going on with you?”,I was just keep my mouth. I didn’t brave to tell the truth to
my teacher since all of the eyes in the class leaded to me. The school that was
supposed to be fun for learning and looking for many friends, it was no longer
existing for me since I caught on to the whispering and exclusion from the kids.
I had lost all of my friends during the move and yes, it gave me so much in
pain.
Finally the elementary school was over. Junior
high school was the next for my routine and to be honest, at that time, I was
still afraid of going to there. I told to my parents later that I was not ready
to enter junior high school. But, my parents always tried to convince me that I
would not face the same experience like before when I was in the fifth and
sixth grade. They said that I would find acceptances with the new kids and get
happiness more and more.
The time run so fast and I felt like
my life was about to change. Yes, my parents were right. Seventh grade started
to give me some hopes that my life was going to turn around. With the teachers
and also some friends who were so caring and friendly, I grew up with them. I
started to make many friends, built good relationship with them and joined on
some activities like dancing, basketball and karawitan. I was happy and seems like the trauma of
elementary school was being overshadowed by my new life. Yes, finally the
memories were all gone.
Looking back on that my past
experience when I was in the elementary school, I personally regret toward the
role of my teacher that is very low in facing relational aggression phenomenon among
adolescent in the elementary school. It
was humiliating since she was unable to detect any warning signs
that may place their
students at-risk for failure or interfering with their chances for success in
school and life. I
knew that she cared for me. It is proven when she initiatively asked “what
going on with you”. But as what I saw from her is she didn’t know how to encourage
her students to talk about their thoughts and feelings freely.
I believe that in the outside there are many
kids who get the similar problem and where stuck in the condition like the way
I was. Since the role of teacher is not delivering material only but also is
responsible to create a positive learning experience for students, it is better
for teacher to build warm and caring relationship with students and looking for
some information pertaining what conflicts occur in the classroom. However
through warm and caring relationship, as reflect to my own experience, students
will learn to form satisfying relationship with others which can reduce on the existence
of aggression in the classroom. On the other hand, when teacher knows what
conflicts occur in his/her classroom, my experience also said that it can help
teacher know how to effectively resolve the conflict happen in order to create
a safe learning environment for students.
Himmatul 'Aliyah
2010110030
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