Once I got startled toward the announcement that said
I had to become the member of class 2A in my second grade of junior high school
where all of the members were good in academic competency and self performance.
Honestly I was not ready to be in that class at that time. First, I had to loss
my close friends whom I always shared with and second, I just felt like uncomfortable
and no familiar with my new environment so that for a certain time I just felt
like no confidence and less spirit to compete with my new friends in that class.
The problem was begun when a half
semester had passed and still I could not cope with my weakness as a slow
learner so that I was a little bit far behind among my friends in understanding
materials even it was related to mathematics, the lesson that I liked so much
at that time. Yes, I just realized that I looked really terrible at that time
and no one whom I could rely on.
Later
my mathematics teacher realized that there was something wrong with me. She
asked me and tried to know what actually happened to me. I told everything to
her and always said “Mom,,I really cannot
struggle. I want to give up. I really missed my close friends. I really missed
the time when I got the perfect score for my exams in my first grade of junior
high school and earned so much love and care from my friends”. With her style and also a gentle disposition, he
kept motivate me intrinsically to not give up and asked me to keep trying and be
focus in reaching my own goals. Even she was always putting me first in some
activities like discussion group, presentation, etc because she wanted me to
show up and get appreciation from my friends in that class. Yes, those ways
were actually successful. Shortly thereafter, I found my way to wake up and build
upon my confidence and also motivation to not give up but survive to face the
challenges, to get along with them and to study harder in order to increase my
ability to become competent in class and get appreciations from others,
In
my opinion, she was really worthy of love and care. She really supported me in
every my single step even gave offers of help anytime when I asked to and
needed her help. Yes, she really put a
higher expectation on me and I felt like she believed that I could compete with
them and reach my own goal in learning process. You know right, it seems like
as a human being my needs for competence, where my ability to function
effectively in my environment and also my need for relatedness, where I can
develop the feeling of being connected to others in one’s social environment and feeling worthy of love
and respect are fulfilled.
What
I have learned from my past experience relate to the material that I had just
learned in MMSEL class about the need for self-determination is when all of
these needs (the needs for competence and relatedness) are fulfilled,
individuals experience improvements in wellbeing and satisfaction. They also
become more resilient rather than sensitive to problems. So, as teacher
candidates, we have to aware with these issues no matter what the condition is.
However, many common trends, such as the inclination to conceal personal
problems or work extensive hours can impede the likelihood that such needs are
fulfilled.
Himmatul 'Aliyah
2010110030
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