pSelf Reflection Part II

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Last meeting of MMSEL class had a huge impact for me. It was so describing myself towards the Maslow Theory. Well, the truth was I had no idea in what level that I am now. The hardest part in learning that theory was the abstractness of it. The theory was too hard to be consolidating with the real condition, tough it was really clear idea in what level for every of my friends could be. For me, the reality is too much complex to be put in the theories. Sometimes, it was right for some perspectives and it was not for others. I was trying to fulfill my knowledge with the concept of Maslow Theory and also tried to place myself what step that I have been reached. I kinda afraid of being not in the self-actualization level because of some of the level below that I could not fulfilled (I realized it now). The basic question that I could not get the answer was about can some people who had reached at some level and suddenly something happened to him/her then they just get down to the lower level? Questioning about that thing was paralyzed me until now.

Well, I have a great self-esteem and I have courage to speak in front of many people. At some moments I can be a great man but at the other moments I just feel like a coward who play hide and seek in the middle of the night. Does it mean that I have reached the self-actualization? May be yeah may be not. Because I just realized that I don’t feel safe and be loved of others in this life. I just thought that having friends is kinda not necessary because realizing that they will just be there at the moment I needed them or vice versa. I feel not safe because every time I walked down to the street or riding a car in the street or eating something on the street make me feel unsafe. Murdering, unhealthy food and unsteadiness of this country make me afraid.

Part of being an adult (according to this theory) was about having a self-actualization which I might concern for myself. The horrifying part was about I could not reach this level until I fulfill my self-esteem and love. You might know me so well, but you don’t know anything the truth about me. Questioning yourself as a friend of mine?
 

 

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